It's a Wasteland Out There

If you are a submissive woman looking for a substantial power-exchange relationship, and you do your best to post a detailed, carefully written ad describing yourself, describing your situation, and explaining precisely what you are looking for, you should expect that most of the responses you get will be beyond clueless: stupidity, hostility, illiteracy, and arrogance are the coin of the realm among the "dominants" who will answer your ad. Every intelligent, literate submissive woman whom we know and who has been in this position experiences the same thing and it is important to know that you are not alone in getting these clueless replies. There is nothing about your ad in particular that attracts abusive or moronic cretins--every ad from a submissive woman draws them. Understand that most of these idiots do not read your ad, or, even if they do, they pay no attention to what you say. The best response to creeps is no response, but sometimes it's hard to resist the temptation to argue with them or just to make fun of them. We'd like to give you a little ammunition.

Example of A Carefully Written
Personal Ad

Shown below is an example of a well written, detailed personal ad that was posted by J, a friend of ours. Notice how honest the writer is about her situation and her needs. An ad like this, when honestly and clearly depicting your circumstances and your desires, will sometimes get you responses from a higher caliber of person than an ad that is more secretive, fantasy-driven, or brief.

NOTE: We do not recommend that anyone else use all or parts of this ad for themselves, unless, by some astonishing miracle, everything this person says about herself is also true of you. We present this as an example of how to write clearly about your desires and situation, whatever they might be.

How to Explain
What You're Looking For

Unfortunately, even an ad as carefully designed and specific as the one above gets its full share of crap. One of the most common questions the writer of this ad receives is "Can you describe what you mean by an `appropriate master'?" Since the answer to this question is already written all over her ad, someone who asks such a question is likely to be too unintelligent or too heedless to be worth further conversation. Our friend, however, has prepared an excellent response to this question, which she sends in the hope that if respondents hear it in a slightly different way it might sink in. We consider the following paragraph to be an excellent way to explain to someone who is either ignorant or just not paying attention what you want from a relationship. If you like this description, you should feel free to adopt and modify it for your own use.

The Call of the Clueless

The second most common response our friend gets from her ad is made up of the following four words (and usually nothing else): "Where are u located?" Our friend tells such individuals politely (and very patiently) that she doesn't specify a location in her ad because that is immaterial to her: she is willing to relocate for a genuine dominant, and she understand that such a man will relocate her, himself, or both of them if he feels that that is necessary. She then tells them what city she lives in. It can be very discouraging to get these one-liners in response to such a sincere and well-written ad, as if the only thing that matters to the responders is whether they can drive to her house in a couple of hours. These people share nothing about themselves, say nothing to her about her ad or whether they think they have compatible interests: they just want to know whether she is within easy reach. Most, upon hearing that she lives in a different part of the country than themselves, never write back--which is just as well.

We'd like to present you with a miscellaneous sampling of the other kinds of responses our friend typically gets. We are purposely not posting here the few relevant responses to her ad, because our intent is to demonstrate to other submissive women that they are not alone in being subject to this crap. We hope that by reading what our friend has undergone you will learn not to be too discouraged when the same stuff comes flying your way. We repeat: it is not your fault that all of the people--with a rare exception prehaps, or perhaps not--calling themselves "dominants" on the Internet are utter and absolute idiots. Where instructive or useful, we have included our friend's responses to these clueless wonders. Remember, all of these are initial responses to our friend's detailed ad, posted above.

A variation on the "Where are you located?" One-Liner:

"I am very interested in power exchange. I need facts to see if this situation is real. What part of the country are you in so that we can determine if real time is possible?"

Her Reply: "Dear ?, I generally regard it as a very negative indicator of someone's serious intent when they:
1. don't bother to even provide me with a name
2. think that the single most important question to be answered is whether I am close enough for scening activity to be pursued.
3. demand *further* information without making any effort to be clear about what they want to know.

From the Brief and Not to the Point Category:

"Respond soon!"

Her Reply: "To what?"

From the S&M is Either Sexual or Spiritual and Never the Two Shall Meet Category:

"I think that we are no match...you are sexually deeply submissive...as I understand...that is where it starts with you. I prefer a [person who is] deeply submissive by heart and spirit instead of a sexually deeply submissive."

This same respondent went on to opine, and in doing so won himself a place in our D&S Clueless Hall of Fame:

"you want to use your own intelligence in order to serve your master. This means that you claim freedom in the area of your intelligence... I am the intelligence of My slave. My slave needs only my intelligence." [Note: this is from a 29-year-old Boy Wonder to a woman 16 years older than himself.]

There is a common sort of respondent who, no matter how many details you supply in your original ad, still wants more. We call them the Do-Me's Of Cyberspace:

"Forward Details To Me Girl."

The submissive in question politely responds with a little more information about herself, then ends,

"I would be interested in hearing more about *you*."

Most of these people never write back.

A variation of the Do-Me:

"Attractive DWM Airline Pilot is interested."

Her response: "Can you tell me anything about yourself that would give me a better idea of who *you* are?"

A variation of the Do-Me, sent to our friend in December:

"I caught your ad on the net today and am very interested. Send your resume accompanied with photo for my approval"

Her Reply: "Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is to stop getting email from self-absorbed nitwits."

Remember, this is a response to the detail-rich and specific ad you read above:

"Are you talking about an evening, weekend, or what?"

A response from a self-described "True Master" (cough cough). It's a classic example of the arrogant, clueless, strutting, fake "dominant" you'll find everywhere in the Scene:

"I'm probably just wasting my time because I believe that anyone who seriously seeks a personal relationship yet fails to identify their location, is probably someone just looking for email...The second reason I suspect your posting is a fake is your reference to persons who wish to establish an email relationship `will be dealt with harshly.' No true submissive would dare to make such a threat. The third reason I suspect your posting is fake is that you capitalized your name. No true submissive would presume to think they are worthy of writing their name with a capital letter... If you are for real, and are serious about the subject of your posting, respond to me promptly. You will begin your response by apologizing for the threat contained in your posting. You will address me as `Sir' at all times, and will begin each statement with `Sir'."

Typically, J does not reply to idiots like the one above. But on occasion she sends them a form letter. Here's another example of someone projecting his personal fantasies onto our friend (why is it that these fantasies always seem obsessed with such vanilla activities as cocksucking and calling the submissive a whore?), her form-letter response, and his absolutely predictable "You're not a real submissive" response to it. All of these egotistical jerks do this, my fellow submissive readers; they all accuse you of not being sub (or sub enough) if you stick up for yourself and tell them, in response to a completely inane and inappropriate email, just where to stick it. The fact that a jerk like this will typically fly uncontrollably into a hysterical fit if you tell him the truth in an assertive manner gives perceptive submissives still another way to tell who has actual dominant potential and who doesn't: dominants do not have temper tantrums.

"I am a master of 15 years. I will take control of your body and mind and use you as I see fit. I use nipple clamps, and rope a lot, when I order you to perform you will do so at once, I like to whip ass and give anama's [sic] I will turn you into a willing slut slave and have you on your knees sucking my cock when ever I want, you will be made to look me in the eye while you are sucking so I can watch your face when I blow my cum in your mouth. If you are willing to aggree to this you may have a chance at being my slave. But remember this is only the beginning, I will make you do a lot more, and treat you like the whore you are. I want you to tell me about yourself and leave nothing out, how you have served before and when you started. Master F.

Her Form-Letter Reply: "On the occasion of my father's death, while I struggle through funeral arrangements and deal with the grieving of two children who miss their grandfather, it's so nice to know that I can come home, open my mailbox, and be treated to this kind of ignorant self-absorbed drivel. Perhaps someday, when you get over your adolescent wet dreams long enough to notice that submissives are real people with real lives and real needs and not just fodder for your masturbatory fantasies, you can actually manage a relationship with one. Personally, I doubt it, because narcissistic cretins almost never *do* get over themselves long enough to become real people with real lives. About the best suggestion I can offer you is that you go out and purchase a rubber inflatable submissive, which is just about the only variety of submissive that is capable of being inhuman enough to be able to deal with you. For myself, I prefer to mate with my own species."

F's Response to J: "My, my, what do we have here a slave that wants to be a Master? I have known slaves like you and once they are put in their place they love it and I have two female slaves right now. I was trying to help you before you got hung up with a jerk. And tell me how I was to know about your problems? Stop your bull shit and tell me what you are realy looking for. If you want a Master I can make your life what you have always wanted it to be."

Her comment to us: "Now here's a jerk with a difference. He doesn't give up easily."

Her reply to him: "Hmmm, save me from the jerks by being a jerk. What an interesting philosophy you *do* have."

From the Marching Morons Who Never Learned to Read or Write Category:

"u didn't say where u r located...i'm getting mad of just thinking of how stupid u r...mayb i could help, write 2 me and do avoid stupidity."

More of the same:

"The dress code is nude and bound. Tell me more about yourself and your kids."

What's unusual about this response is that he actually wants to know something about our friend. Nevertheless, she didn't (not surprisingly) consider this one worth responding to.

"control!"

Her response: "I'm afraid this is not something that would interest me."

From the There's No Time Like the Present Instant Masters R Us Category, Example One:

"Call me Firday [sic], Saturday, or Sunday after midnight your time at [phone number] and we'll discuss your future, but you must be naked, alone, the kids must be in bed, you should be standing, fondling yourself in front of a mirror with the lights on, and the shades shut, you fuckin' Slut."

Gee, he capitalized "Slut!" Does that mean that he considers her to be the dominant? Seriously, any person who would expect that an absolute stranger who knows nothing about you and who clearly states that she is looking for a long-term committed relationship would call you without knowing first whether you are the least bit suitable for her is either so retarded or so lost in fantasyland that he is not worth a response. Still, if you have gotten about 10 similar emails in one day, it can be fun to let off a little frustration with such a moron.

Her response: "Go fuck yourself, you loud mouthed, overbearing, ignorant, arm waving babboon. Who the hell do you think you are anyway? You aren't a man, let alone a dominant man."

From the There's No Time Like the Present Instant Masters R Us Category, Example Two:

"After careful consideration I am responding to your posting... email me with your name, number and best time to call and you will hear from me immediately...Dominantly Yours...Lord X. ps feel free (no pun intended) to call me at [phone number]."

What is it with these guys? Why do they think that any submissive woman with a minimum amount of intelligence and self-respect would respond positively to such a gimmie-gimme-rush-rush approach? Perhaps they find really stupid submissives to be the most desirable and so are trying intentionally to screen out the smart ones? No, that's giving them way too much credit, we suspect.

From the There's No Time Like the Present Instant Masters R Us Category, Example Three (what happens when you don't respond within 24 hours to one of these cretins):

"I hadn't thought this would be necessary, but apparently it is, since it's been over a day since I wrote to you....If you are interested in Me, however, then you can have up to one more day in which to make some sincere attempt at communication, or else you can scratch Me off your list, interested or not, because I will not even bother to open any email that may come in after that. Two days is more than enough time. From where I'm sitting, I have no idea exactly what it would indicate if someone could place an ad as big as yours, and could receive a response as sincere and right as mine, and then say nothing at all for more than a couple of days." This guy goes on and on in this whining, blaming tone for several paragraphs.

Her reply: "Excuse me? I thought you could read. I thought my ad made it abundantly clear that I have someone controlling my behavior. I also think it is transparently obvious that you have no right in this entire world to start posturing with me. You're a fraud, a fake, a joke. Go away. The bad judgment in this instance is yours, and is presumptuous, pretentious clap trap."

From the There's No Time Like the Present Instant Masters R Us Category, Example Four:

"I am in the middle of moving this weekend but will try to contact you with more details about me. You should be here to move for me. In the meantime, I consider you to be my slave. Your thoughts??"

Her reply: "Like most people who apparently masturbate for a living, you seem to be totally unaware that it takes two people to have a relationship, and you seem to have overlooked the obvious fact that I am *not* your slave at all. You are a complete and total stranger to me, and I intend to keep it that way. I prefer to associate with people who actually do *know* the difference between fantasy and reality."

The Let Me Impress You with My Experience Category:

"I...have been a practicing master for some 13 years."

Such a statement is proof in itself that its writer is not a dominant. If this person were really a master--that is, if he actually owned a girl--he would not be looking for another one.

But the point we want to make about this line is that individuals trying to pass themselves off as "dominants" to unwary submissives have learned certain set phrases to use, and this is one of them. "I have been a lifestyle dominant for X years," with X being some large number, gets these folks far more replies than a more honest, "I'm really new at trying to develop a permanent relationship as the last three submissives I've know haven't been exactly right for me (nor I for them), but I've learned a lot over the last few years and feel confident I can control the right person." Beware of "masters" who make claims about extensive experience. They may be telling the truth, but they may also simply have learned that many subs fall for the "experience" line. People who are unsure of their ability to dominate submissives but who are desperate to attract them learn the right things to say through superficially reading the kinky forums and seeing what submissives respond positively to. They pick up a set group of keywords and key phrases, that, if used in the ad, tend to get them more positive response than if not. The keywords change over time, but what you will notice if you do a lot of ad posting is that you get numerous short (usually one-paragraph) responses that don't provide much information about the person but are careful to contain all the "right" or "in" phrases. It's as if the same person wrote each ad, just changing the sentences around a bit. It isn't the same person, of course, but it is the same type of person: a moderately-clever conventional man who really doesn't get power exchange but who wants to pick up exciting kinky chicks anyway. There are thousands of them out there.

The Trolling Submissive Category: While normally one runs into this type most often in the chat rooms, a submissive woman who posts her ad frequently or in many places is likely to turn one up in email, too. The trolling submissive is a woman who writes to you and then directly (as in the case below) or indirectly extols the virtues of her master to you and invites you to become his slave.

"Dear J, I read your ad in the newsgroup and forwarded it to my Master, an experienced Dom and single father, who is searching for a submissive who will become his live-in slave, as i live in another state and am unable to relocate at this time. He has instructed me to respond on his behalf as he understands your need and your desire to have a Master become responsible for you... taking control of every aspect of your life. [NOTE: If he truly understands this, why did he not take responsibility for and control of writing to our friend himself? The reason is simple: he is not a dominant. What he is, is a jerk who is using a needy submissive as a social secretary and procurer. It is very sick.] Master is an understanding, patient, intelligent, responsible and sensitive man who commands with a caring, yet firm manner. He strives to help those he trains, explore capabilites and stretch limits in a caring and safe way. He respects a slave's limits and lovingly guides her and encourages her to grow ... she will experience all there is to experience. She will grow to appreciate his commitment to her, to honesty, obedience and discipline, and she will know the pleasure that comes from total and complete submission.... I look forward to your prompt response, slave wendy (written at the direction of but not read by MasterX). slave w"

Obviously, you need to stay far, far away from these people and this situation. About the best thing you can say about it is that Wendy lives a fantasy life that may perhaps be pleasant for her but probably is not.

The Sir Steven Clone Category: such people appear to be inhumanly strict--this is a clear clue that they are living in a fantasy world and have no practical or extensive experience with real power exchange, where infractions are seldom so clearcut nor discipline so uncomplicated:

"I expect absolute obedience and I have no patience with stupidity."

Or try this one on for size:

"I mean that total slavery is just that and that implies a sterling performance. A failure on the part of a slave to attend to detail, whether that be unkempt nails or a sarcastic remark, might be an indication of slipped training and would most certainly lead to a nasty session."

How do people like the above get to be this clueless? They are a lot of really bad "self-help" Scene publications on the market which cater primarily to clueless people who need to be told, in great detail, how to "do S&M." Individuals like the dear respondents to our friend's ad devour these books (or talk to "teachers" who have read these books) and acquire such hoary unwisdoms as "All submissives should lower their eyes in the presence of a dominant," or "No one is a true submissive if they don't know the five positions of submission." With their heads filled with such tripe, these instant experts on S&M then set out to acquire a submissive--and if she acts like a complete, whole, complex person who doesn't abide by the rules set forth in the self-help books, they conclude, as one of these Sir Cluelesses did with our friend, that she is not a True Submissive (whatever that means--although being a true something or another seems exceedingly important to these overbearing nincompoops).

The Sir Steven Clone Category, Example 2:

"Femsub, how dare you search for me. I would have found you myself. Return pleasing photo when next you masturbate i.e. as soon as you get this."

Her Reply: Normally not one to be at a loss for words, our friend was temporarily rendered speechless by this one.

The typical response of the Most Wonderful Dom in the World when he is rejected--repeatedly--Category

Some guys won't take a simple "no" for an answer, but finally, when you tell them "not interested" enough times, they'll typically accuse you of not being a true submissive or of being someone not interested in real dominants. It's kind of the kinky version of "Well, since you're not interested in me, you must be (a) a frigid bitch or (b) a lesbian." Here we have a fellow who pesters our sub woman friend each and every time she posts her ad, not seeming to remember that she told him she wasn't interested the last time around. To her most recent polite "not interested," he said,

"Pity you find true masters not to your liking, good luck in your quest."

Her Reply: "I guess I don't like "true masters" by your definition. You have responded to every ad I've every posted, apparently completely oblivious to the fact that you have been rejected by me over and over again because you are *not* offering anything I would want. If the definition of "true master" is brain dead, I don't want one. If the definition of "true master" is somebody stupid enough to respond to an ad placed by a woman with two children with some tripe about being willing to pick up and take off at the drop of a hat, I don't want one of those either. If the definition of "true master" is someone who has been advertising for a submissive woman and responding inappropriately to submissives' ads for months and months, clearly indicating that he either cannot get a submissive or keep one longer than a week, I don't want one. If the definition of "true master" is someone who quite obviously wants something akin to a combination hooker/business associate but is too cheap to pay for them, I don't want one. I get along fine with a "true master" but I'm afraid you don't qualify as suitable on any basis I can find."

The Honest-to-God, We Didn't Think Anyone Out There Was Stupid Enough to Use This Line Anymore Category:

well, folks, it looks like we were over-optimistic....

Title of Response: "On Your Knees, NOW."

Content of Response [all spellings and usages are his own]: "Hello Slave; If your looking for a control freak than you found him. Get off of your chair now a read this on your knees. I am six foot tall, HWP european, good looking, If interested write back. NO, I demand that you write back and tell me what you want me to do to you, if you leave details out I will be forced to punish you."

Her Reply: "You are the 692nd moron to receive this automatically generated response since February 23rd, 1996. I do not refer to any one as "Sir" unless he has demonstrated in real life those qualities that would *earn* my respect. I do not refer to anyone as *master* unless he is, in fact, *my* master. If you would like information about lifestyle d/s I would refer you to [this website]. If you would like to know more about what I am or am not interested in seeing in a response to my ad, I would refer you to [this webpage]. Both of these sites will provide considerable insight into what both I, and my mentor, are looking for in a permanent master."

The Tell Me More About What You've Already Told Me Because I'm Either Too Dumb to Figure it Out from Your Original Long, Detailed Ad or I'm Too Lazy to Write You More than Two lines of Text and This Gets Me Off The Hook Category:

"Can you fill in the blanks on why you wish to be dominated. I can assist you in this detail but, I want to know what kind of Master you wish to obtain."

Our friend sent this guy the canned paragraph, listed near the top of this page, that she always sends people who haven't the brains to figure out what she wanted from her detailed first ad.

Her reply, just to us, was: "What a ninny!"

The I'm Too Insecure to Deal With Your Mentor Response

Our friend gets this one a lot, because she clearly states in her personal ad that she has a mentor who is currently controlling her behavior. This line, in particular, makes people pretending to be dominant feel extremely insecure and defensive, allowing her to disqualify them neatly as potential partners. Whether or not another "dominant" can deal your being controlled temporarily by another person while the "dominant" is trying to establish a relationship with you tells you a whole lot about his level of maturity, his ability to assume responsibility, and his ability to handle mildly difficult, exasperating, or complex situations. The people whom we see as the most hopeful prospects for our submissive friend, the ones who seem as if they may possibly have something to offer her that resembles what she's looking for, have been curious about the mentor situation but have had little or no problem with it. The great majority of her ad respondents, however, turn this situation into some kind of ego war or restriction upon themselves that they, as Macho Doms, cannot put up with. Their immature handling of this situation makes it extremely easy to disqualify them and saves our friend a lot of time and trouble in trying to get to know them better. The fellow, above, who our friend classified as a "ninny" deserved this name, in part, because of his reaction to her mentor situation--he seemed to think, as far as we can deduce, that her having a mentor meant that he was going to somehow be controlled by the mentor as well:

"I will not be submitted to any outside control. I, and only I shall be your Master, if you choose to accept as such."

The I Can't Believe Anyone in Cyberspace is Who They Say They Are Category:

"Is this message for real? This dominate male in [city deleted] is curious."

Aside from the fact that anyone who is ignorant enough to call himself by a verb (as in, "to dominate") immediately gives a very poor impression to those of us who are minimally literate, this fellow represents that tiresome "objectifying" attitude that you see so often in people who are new to on-line communications. They can't see you or hear you, so they cannot imagine that you are a real live flesh-and-blood person with feelings, thoughts, and motivations as complex as (or, more likely, more complex than) theirs. Whatever else is true of them, such people are not dominants, so you can safely confine them to the circular file.

The Oh! and By the Way, I'm a Dominant!!! Category:

Yes, dominants are often self-confident; arrogant; pleased with themselves, one might even say; vain at times. But your standard pretty boy who wants to have his bod adored by an older woman and who is trying to get that desire met by posing as a dominant is immediately disqualified. Here's what one such person had to say to our submissive friend:

"Hello!!! I'm kinda new to the Scene, however I will guarantee your complete satisfaction! Actually, it will be you who will be doing the satisfying!!! I'm a young professional, 26, and I know my looks will make you mind in a matter of seconds. I'm looking for a female to worship my body from head to toe. If a young hardbody is O.K. with you, then crawl over and E-Mail me SLAVE..."

From the "Little Vanilla Riding Hood Lost in the Kinky Ads" Category, Example 1:

"So J what are you like? I know you are 44. I'm interested in older women right now. I am 22. You must be good looking still though. No saggy tits here. I want an older women who is experienced and knows how to such a good dick. Do you fit the bill? If so reply and Let's talk."

The "Little Vanilla Riding Hood Lost in the Kinky Ads" Category, Example 2:

"Where are you from? I can send you some nudes of myself."

From the "I Flunked Fourth Grade Reading Comprehension" Category, Example 1:

"I wrote you sometime last week and never received a response from you. I hope it's just because you are too busy to return messages right now. I somehow get the feeling, though, that you dismissed by response because maybe I am not experienced. We, as I could see by looking at the page you recommended I look at [Eds Note: he's referring to this Web page] that you only copied what that page had on it. So, obviously you are very new at this too. I would just like a response regardless of what your answer is."

Our friend decided to oblige the fellow: "I would have thought that even someone with *your* limited intellectual resources would have realized that the Web page I referred you to is built around my ad, not the other way around. Given that Polly's Web page also states that their *friend* is still looking and you write to her directly at *my* address, I should have thought it was fairly obvious. You not only lack the experience I am looking for, and are completely age inappropriate, and didn't understand a single thing you read there, you apparently have the IQ of a house plant! I referred you to those Web sites in the feeble hope that you would start to get some education about what dominance and submission are all about, as you so obviously have no clue.

From the "I Flunked Fourth Grade Reading Comprehension" Category, Example 2:

"I looked up the page you told me to look at, who ever put that page up does not have a clue about the subject, they are in it for profit. I assume you are the one running this page because everything you E-mailed to me was an attachment from part of the text. Just a low way to get people to your page so you can seel [sic] them something, thanks but no thanks, I am in S/m for the fun of it as are the slave, Nice Try."

[Eds Note: Quite an interesting thing to say about a Web site with hundreds of pages of free content intended to educate and provide support and not a single place on it to type in a credit card number. But hey, why listen to us? It's only the truth we're talking about, after all.]

The next entry was sent to J after she sent the individual quoted above her polite form letter, which explains in more detail what she is looking for; points the respondent to our Web site and to this page, in particular; explains a little bit about the role her mentor plays in her life and in her search for a master as well as an invitation for him to write this mentor, should he want additional information; and also explains what to do if the respondent is unable to get email to her. Not a single insult, scathing remark, or criticism exists in this email from J, as it's meant to educate and provide further information, not alienate. It's neutral, in other words, but some little boys passing themselves off as big manly doms on the internet don't even have the emotional ability to deal with neutrality in a response:

"...I do not need to talk to anyone about how I should be, I know how I am, that is why I have answered your ad, to find a slut that can give me what I want and expect from her...you are taking my senseability [sic] as a weakness, my search for the true as some kind of game, let me assure you it is not...I have had others before, they failed for one reason or the other, but not from lack of commitment on both our parts...if you are for real and seek to serve, I would expect you to be a little less critical and alot more inquisitive as to what my needs and wants are, it must be easy to sit back and pretend that this is what you are looking for, as you say, you have a mentor, why wouldn't he keep you? I myself have "owned" 3 subjects at once, and all were used and enjoyed by myself and themselves, so do not lecture me on what it takes, I know what it takes, do you? what are you capable of doing? I have yet to see any effort on your part to try to please me, even your response time to my e was slow, what are you so busy? so if you would want me to consider you for this, you had better show the proper attitude. I expect a faster reply to my mail, a more sincere e from you, not a cum on to join some service, or to listen to someone elses advice....SIR R"

Her Response, which we think is quite kind, all things considered: "As my ad very clearly states, my mentor "controls my behavior." While he and I do not have an *absolute* relationship, that statement clearly implies the existence of a power exchange. Apparently you are unfamiliar with the concept, in which case you are unsuitable as a candidate. If you cannot accept his temporary authority over me, you should also understand that you are powerless to change it, and you should not be wasting my valuable time by responding to my ad. No one will enslave me without his permission. It is as simple as that. Quite frankly, your note is a pathetic waste of my valuable time, and his."

Her Response: "I've gotten some incredibly stupid responses to my ad, but yours takes first prize. You actually wasted the time it took to press the send button for *this,* and wasted the time it takes me to push the retrieve mail button for *this.* You are an idiot."